Urgh, I had a hard time trying to log into my blogspot account. For some crap reason, blogspot says my username cannot be found, when that is the username that blogspot sends to my hotmail! I don't know why, but when something bad happens, it seems to trigger off the bad luck effect, and every thing just frustrates the hell out of me.

I hate myself for being so emotional, so fragile, so.. weak. And yet, I just can't control myself. I feel so helpless. And in face of all these troubles, I stand alone. I do have close friends..but who do I speak to? How do I even begin. To the world outside, I may look strong, strong enough for my mother, strong enough to carry out my responsibilities, strong enough to live life as per normal.

But no, I'm crumbling, literally. I may have aged physically, but within this mortal shell, I'm still a child. A child who lost her father. No correct that. A child abandoned by her father. It's the fact, it's the truth, the unspeakable truth.

Within a day, I'm forced to grow up, but have I? It's so tough..it really is.

Somehow I feel that I'm a changed person. I'm not longer the optimistic happy girl. And dad, you changed me.